2004-09-18T16:06:00.000-07:00

DO NOT DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE DURATION OF THE EXERCISE. YOU WILL GO TO JAIL OR MAKE PHONE CALLS.

Also don't write emails like this. It always ends badly. It should be a rule.

today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two

punctuate as you see fit

-------Original Message-------

Phase 2:Prep Stage 2
Then get yourself a supply of your absolute happiest booze and some really good weed (if you're into that kind of thing. I would never recommend that type of thing ever.) I find Budweiser in the aluminum can followed by Cap'n Morgan's mixed with fruit punch in a big crystal glass with lots of crushed ice is working for me at the moment.

DO NOT DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE DURATION OF THE EXERCISE. YOU WILL GO TO JAIL OR MAKE PHONE CALLS.

Phase 3: It Begins- The Descent
Put on the absolutely most depressing songs. Drink consistently. Maintain complete silence. Do nothing but rotate depressing songs and drink and smoke and go pee. Take no calls. Make no calls. Hmm who's left to call.

Just wallow in the pure country depression goodness. *At about 6 beers and 2 joints you should turn off all appliances in the house just in case. This stage should last at least 4 hours so pack on the tunes and booze.
Hint:
Lock the doors and windows because the country depression and the booze will make you paranoid and it will make you feel so much better when you check them every 11 minutes later and find them already locked.

Phase 4: The Ascent
By this time, if you are doing it all right, you will be blubbering like an 8-year old girl who fell off of her bicycle. If you have programmed the playlist on your Windows Media Player correctly you can now begin listening to progressively perkier songs to avoid a suicidal depression.

I suggest starting off your ascent from the Abyss with hard-work songs like "16 Tons" by Eric Burden or Tennessee Ernie Ford. Most of Chris Isaac will bring you slowly back from the edge, but beware! Chris Isaac can also make you open a vein in the tub if you let him go all buck-ass wild. Jerry Reed and Charlie Rich kick ass too!!! Try " Amos Moses" and " Rolling with the Flow"

Then try some Motown from Otis Redding's "Dock of the Bay" to the great Wilson Picket's "Midnight Hour".

The Commodores (when Lionel Ritchie was still black) is good too.

Phase 5: Crescendo

Put on Al Green and Annie Lennox's "Put a Little Love in Your Heart" followed by the All-Time Most Happy Song Ever...........

Jackie Wilson...."Your Love Keeps Lifting Me." I like that song

That should do it.

At this point I usually feel so much more at ease and peaceful that I have the most peaceful dreams and restful sleep. The gooey emotion will do a squeegee on your soul and leave you all nice and clean.

I know this is long and weird, but it really is good therapy for boredom and depression. And i can't let all those fags like Tony Robbins have all the self-help fame. EH
I liken it to going deep-sea diving when a person is afraid of the water. By learning that one can manipulate one's own mood by a controlled combination of stimuli, one learns to appreciate depression as just another experience in life to be experienced and even wallowed in. In a controlled and safe setting, one can periodically lower the psyche into a safely cathartic well of self-pity and introspection and gradually raise oneself out of the malaise in the same manner.

Once I found out how simple it was to manipulate my own mood, I also became aware of how easy it was for others to make me sad.

What Did You Expect??
I'm,
"Sifty"
The Count of San Clemente
Pirate, Rat-Bastard, No-Good SOB
Defamed and Reviled,yet....
Kinda Sweet
Proud Member of All the Coolest Groups
A-List
"Unlikable Since 2002"
I'm What Willis Was Talkin' Bout
___________________________________
You can hate me, you can rob me, you can beat me, you can break my heart, and you can kill me. Just don't BORE me.

Day 3: Watch It Made Tours

2004-07-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com: Books: Watch It Made in the U.S.A: A Visitor's Guide to the Companies That Make Your Favorite Products (Watch It Made in the USA)

So what do we actually want to do on this trip? How many days do we want to be gone? I want to stop at wierd touristy things and also in just normal towns along the way. I need to see if that is what my aunt wants to do though, she may be planning to just drive straight through.

How much are we going to need for the trip?

Why do we want to take this trip?

Thank god I have time to think about packing!!

I am really excited about it!

Day One part 2: How much will it cost? Where should we stop?

2004-07-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

This can't be right. It's only based on going one way, but still!!

Road Trip Fuel Cost Calculator: "Result
Your 1,800 mile road trip will cost you about $151.20 in gas."

Hey...cause you know we have to see something cheesy!!

Road Side America is a website filled with wierd americana.

here's another place to find places to visit.

Day One: I want to go to Graceland

2004-07-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

~I've a reason to believe we all will be received in Graceland ~ paul simon

This is where it starts! I am planning a road trip to Memphis, Tennessee. I wanted to keep a log of all the places I want to go and the planning to send to my aunt who will be going with me, as well as a trip diary...so here it is. Since all of life is a trip this will also include daily musings and my usual rants.

here's a useful page I found:

Road Trip Planning & Advice

Are You Going My Way

Day 3: Watch It Made Tours

Day One part 2: How much will it cost? Where should we stop?

Day One: I want to go to Graceland